Premarital Sex

Q. As a Christian following Bible based matters, why is it so wrong to have sex before marriage?

A. Sex before marriage is not advisable because sex is more than a physical act. It is also an act of giving your soul to someone else. When you have sex with someone, whether it means something more than the physical act to you or not, you give a part of yourself away to that person that you can never get back if you break up. In our “do it now if it feels good” world, people give no thought to the consequences of their actions. But I have talked to many women who wished that they had saved themselves for marriage because they had many experiences of feeling used and unvalued as a person. Even men, who often have a more casual attitude toward sex often regret the casual encounters they have had.

Now for those of you who are not Christians, you can stop reading here if you like, but I hope you will hear me out. God created sex for procreation, but also to bring a level of intimacy to marriage that would help bind them to one another. He knew the problems that would occur from casual or inappropriate use of sex. I don’t have to tell you what those are, but besides STD’s, unwanted pregnancies, and feelings of shame, premarital sex often causes the ghosts of former partners to be present in a marriage. Not only does a partner compare his or her lover to others they have had, but partners also wonder if their lovemaking measures up to that of other lovers their partners have had. When virgins marry, they don’t have these specters lurking in the shadows.

Of course, if you are reading this and have already had sex outside of marriage, there is hope for you. You can’t get back what you have lost, but you can find healing from the wounds with therapy and a change of lifestyle. Teaching others what you have learned through your mistakes is often a wonderful form of therapy because you can see some good come out of painful experiences.

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